Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do
Happy – Pharrell Williams
Happiness, happiness, the greatest gift that I possess
I thank the Lord that I’ve been blessed
With more than my share of happiness
Happiness – Ken Dodd
Pharrell Williams and Ken Dodd would’ve made a great duo. Infact Pharrell often wears a Diddyman hat and is rather diminutive so would have fitted in perfectly grafting down the jam butty mines of Dodd’s absurd imagination.
Happiness though? Who’s happy these days and what is happiness anyway? People have always strived for that elusive state of mind known as ‘happiness’ – the ancient Greeks, as usual, had a word for it’ ‘ataraxia’ or a state of extreme serenity or calmness which maybe isn’t the same thing, now I think about it. Drugs help. The Greeks knew this too. Herodotus describes the notoriously savage Scythians as being bad weed heads who would chong in their huts and come out in a state of laughing delirium. It was thought that the Greeks themselves used hallucinogens during their mystery rituals. The ancient Egyptians and Babylonians were thought to be bang at the gear too, using opiates, beer, cannabis, mushies, glue and anything else to get them off their tits.
But, that blissful moment, as we know, never lasts and once reality kicks in you can ‘self medicate’ all you like but life is never smooth. Money helps. Money can’t buy you happiness they reckon, but it sure can buy you numerous ways to distract yourself. Contemplation is never a good idea. That’s why all philosophers go west and cut their dicks off. Give me shallow sensuality over austere self-analysis any day. A nice, hot bath, a glass of single malt, a quick wank, all together maybe.
No cunt’s happy. Not really. They may crack on to be, but they’re not. Most people are on medication of some sort and those that aren’t turn to illegal means of blotting out the horrors of the real world. John Lennon once said that his mum told him that happiness was the key to life and when he was at school, he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. ‘Happy’ he replied and was told he didn’t understand the assignment, so he told the teachers they didn’t understand life. He also wrote ‘happiness is a warm gun.’ No one likes a smart arse.
Talking of smart-arses, Kant said ‘happiness is not an ideal of reason but of imagination.’ Then he cut his dick off. Or was Nietzsche? One of them cranks anyway. You don’t have be a German intellectual to understand that the pursuit of happiness is just that; a pursuit, a journey, a direction not a place as Sydney J. Harris put it, whoever the fuck he was.
Trite quotes about happiness are big business these days. Ten bob motivational posters, fridge magnets, tea towels for the mindfulness generation who watch too much telly and read too few books. Puke inducing mottos such as ‘imagine with all your mind, believe with all your heart, succeed with all your might’ or ‘believe you can and you’re already half way there’ and ‘stay positive, work hard and make it happen. ‘
Lies! This type of corporate bullshit feeds into the capitalist myth that all you require for ‘success’ is personal ambition and dedication. As Roy Castle used to sing ‘dedication’s all you need.’ Then he died of lung cancer. Poor Roy, Dedication wasn’t all he needed, He also needed to jib the bifters too.
I once had a boss who was into all these management books, He had one called ‘How To Be An Even Better Boss’ completely unaware of the fact that he was a truly shite boss. David Brent was maybe based on this cat.
We live in a culture that likes to celebrate ‘winners’ and castigate ‘losers’ but ofcourse all this is entirely subjective. The kind of people who send their kids to private school because ‘they want the best for them’ as if anyone sending their kids to state schools somehow doesn’t want the best for their kids. The type of people who vilify the poor as feckless and irresponsible parents yet at the first opportunity send their kids away to prep school and boarding school, and employ nannies to do all the shitty graft. But, this is ‘character building’ for the wealthy and mostly dim witted offspring of the aristocracy and merchant class.
Don’t worry, be happy! That’s how the Bobby McFerrin song went. Public Enemy put him right in Don’t Believe The Hype ; “Don’t worry be happy was a number one jam, damn if I say it, you can slap me right here.” Fuck black poverty, injustice, police brutality, shit housing, education and unemployment. Don’t worry, be happy!
OK, so happiness is fleeting but it’s no coincidence that the poorest people in every society are the ones most prone to mental illness and suicide. A report by The Samaritans noted “Men in the lowest social class, living in the most deprived areas, are up to 10 times more at risk of suicide then those in the highest social class living in the most affluent areas. Unemployed people are two to three times more likely to die by suicide than those with a job.”
As with most things in life, we can point the finger of blame squarely at The Tories. Tory prime minister Disraeli once described his party as ‘an organised hypocrisy.’ Back in 2006, another Tory prime minister, David Cameron told reporters “there is more to life than making money….improving people’s happiness is a key challenge for politicians.” Thanks to Thatcher’s de-regulation Cameron’s family made millions from selling off their stockbroking business and became central to the Panama Papers that disclosed how the wealthy avoided paying their taxes but hey – money don’t buy you happiness folks! How unhappy these multi-millionaire maggots are lounging around Caribbean beaches on stolen money.
Shiny, Happy People.
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